I’VE BEEN DATING IN LA FOR 10 YEARS…

I would just like to start off by first saying that I am no love guru.  I got out of a serious 2.5 year relationship at the end of 2007, then moved from Atlanta to Austin to Dallas to LA all in 2008.  I have been dating and in a number of short lived relationships ever since then.  Essentially, I don’t know shit about dating, which is why I have been dating in LA for almost 10 years.  However, through all my trials and tribulations I’ve learned a few things about dating in LA, and this is what I’ve learned through my experiences:

DTR

Define the relationship.  “The talk”.  “What are we?”  At any point in every dating cycle, you will eventually get to the place where you must define your relationship.  Are you two just dating, dating exclusively, or in a relationship.  This is the one town I’ve lived in where the gray zone is infinite.  You’re always somewhere in between seeing other people and dating exclusively.  I once dated a guy for 6 months, half of which was international long distance, flew half way around the world to see him, and found out we were in the gray zone.

Then there are times where you are already in a relationship and didn’t even know it because of his noncommittal behavior.  You don’t know where you stand in your relationship with him, so you don’t know if you’re allowed to call him out on his behavior.  This one time I found out I was in a relationship because he called me his girlfriend in a complaint email he sent to an airline acting as my lawyer AND boyfriend.  Expectations change the minute you realize you’re in a relationship.

Point is, there is no definitive time or duration in a dating cycle that is the perfect time to have “the talk”.  But most of my stress and paranoia in dating are relieved after I know where I stand in the relationship.  I feel like most women usually start the conversation after three months of seeing someone, but there could be a +/- 2 months difference for each individual.

CHOICES

One of the best things about dating in LA is that there are many choices.  If someone doesn’t work out you can quickly find a replacement, even within seconds (i.e. Tinder, Bumble).  One of the worst things about dating in LA is that there are many choices.  Too many.  There are so many men and women to pick from that no one ever sticks around to see if anything can actually happen.  It is possible to play the game and actually date someone for 3 months and it leads to nothing.

We’ll find little things we don’t like about the other person and find an excuse not to date them anymore.  I know I’m personally guilty of this.  I had dated a guy that was PERFECT on paper.  My parents would have killed for me to end up with him, but I just couldn’t get over him constantly clearing his throat.  It was like nails on a chalkboard to me.  I felt like he had permanent loogie, and the images of phlegm and bacteria would keep popping up in my head.  YUCK!  Was this indeed a deal breaker?  Probably not.  But I decided it was enough of a distraction for me to find someone better.

I think we move on too quickly rather than waiting it out to see if you find something nice about the person that takes away the distraction.  I would complain to my girlfriends about something I don’t like about the guy, and they would immediately call it a red flag and tell me to dump him.  All too quickly would I agree, and the relationship would end.  I think if I had more patience, I wouldn’t have been single for so long.  (Please don’t misread this as settling.  I don’t ever want anyone to just settle.  I’m a hopeless romantic and believe in find Prince Charming and true love.  But this isn’t the 50’s anymore, and Prince Charming doesn’t come packaged like they use to.  We have to fall in love with what we have now, and that could come with some kinks.)

CHICKEN OR THE EGG

Somewhere in the LA dating scene, someone became an asshole and someone became a bitch.  It’s like the chicken or the egg.  Did the asshole create the bitch or did the bitch create the asshole.  Not sure who started it first, but this epidemic had spread like wild fire.  Suddenly guys felt like they had to be assholes to get chicks, and women felt like they had to be bitches in order to keep their men.  The sad part is that it’s all too true.

I remember once joking with my girlfriends that we would have to drive out to the California state line and find guys to date there before they’ve been tainted by LA.  I wish I would have been okay with just dating, but I felt obligated to play “the game”.  I had to make myself busy and unavailable, and could only answer the text or call after 3 hours or 3 days.  I would make plans with my girlfriends and get super dolled up, and send him sexy selfies while we were out partying to make it seem like I was having so much fun without him.  Then drunk dial him at 1:30am.  Why ladies?  Why do we do these silly things that are not necessary, and set ourselves up for a floozy relationship?

I’d like to think that this behavior stems from youth and immaturity, but in reality, it’s just the vibe of LA.  Everyone has Peter Pan Syndrome, and no one wants to grow up and have a mature relationship.  If we can all just learn to play nice with each other, we might not have so many bitches and assholes out there.

LONG DISTANCE

Because dating was so bad for me in LA, I tried dating long distance…three times.  Yup.  THREE times.  The first guy was someone I met briefly 9 years ago, but had a mutual friend and sort of kept in touch.  He lived in Texas at the time, but then moved to San Fran and reached out.  I knew SF was 6 hours away by car, but it was only a short 45 minute plane ride.  The back and forth trips didn’t last too long and the relationship crumbled within 6 months of being on and off again.

The second guy was someone who I met in LA, dated for 3 months then found out he was leaving the country for 6 months for work.  (Read more on GOING THE DISTANCE).  Long story short, we didn’t work out either.  You would think that I have learned my lesson after the second time, but no, third time’s a charm.

Guy number 3 was introduced to me through a mutual friend.  We hit it off immediately, but I found out once again, about 3 months in, that he was going to go on an around the world trip for 2.5 months. I don’t know what it is with me and guys who want to leave the country after 3 months of dating me, but it wasn’t something I wasn’t already use to, so the two of us agreed to stay in touch while he went on his excursion.  We texted just about everyday and did video calls whenever he had decent reception.  I waited for him for 2.5 months, and it has paid off.  We are still together, and have also agreed to not take trips longer than 2 weeks without each other.

I not saying long distance is for everyone.  It takes a lot of patience, understanding and trust.  But if you can get over this hump, everything else is a piece of pie.  I have a friend who met someone long distance, dated him long distance, and is now married to him and they’re still long distance.  If you want to be with someone, you make it work.  No matter the odds.

☮❤︎☆

Top: Who What Wear / Shorts: My own vintage collection (similar look on sale) / Shoes: Steve Madden / Sunnies: zeroUV (sold out | similar look) / Earrings: Charming Charlie (on sale)

Photographed by Stefanie Meier

IT TAKES TWO TO MAKE A THING GO RIGHT

I love shopping.  Duh.  Who doesn’t?  But I really love shopping for people, especially my family and close friends.  I love helping them pick out clothes and try on stuff that they normally wouldn’t have picked out for themselves.  In a way, I’m like their personal shopper, but I often have to pick out an entire outfit for them.

Like most of the people I help shop for, my mother doesn’t have a mental inventory of what she has in her closet.  So when we go shopping I have to pick out a top, a bottom, a bag, a pair of shoes…the whole shebang, (regardless if she already owns something close or similar).  That’s why when an influx of two-piece and matching sets came out this past spring/summer season, I got really excited.  The top and bottom have already been picked out for you!  (No need to call me anymore asking me what top goes with what bottom, #yourewelcomemother).

For Love and Lemons, Faithfull The Brand, and Band of Gypsies all came out amazing prints for their matching sets that I want to wear over and over again.  The best part is that these matching pieces stand out individually, and can be worn separately with other great stuff that you already have.  So, like the lyrics of Rob Base and DJ EZ Rock’s song, “It Takes Two To Make a Thing Go Right”.  Here are some of my favorite matching sets that came out this past summer season:

In between takes, I decided to switch to some daintier earrings.  These Mejuri studs are just the perfect touch of simplicity and elegance.  I am so in love with this jewelry line!

Top: Missguided / Bottom: Missguided / Earrings: Charming Charlie / Necklace: Mejuri / Shoes: Jeffrey Campbell (similar look)

Photographed by Stefanie Meier

BUSY AF

Happy Friday everyone!  Wow, it has been a good minute since I last did a blog post.  My bad!  I didn’t mean to neglect my blog, but I have been busy AF this past month.  First it was my birthday, then the trip to Tulum, Mexico, and now I’m headed to Shanghai, China tomorrow for another two weeks!

Enough of my excuses.  I wanted to write this post to 1) let y’all know that I’m alive and still here, 2) post these pretty pictures that are too good to be left on just my hard drive, and 3) talk about the juggling of four part-time jobs.  Yes, I said FOUR.  I’ve mentioned in the past that I’m an actress, but I’m also a social media consultant, a fashion/lifestyle blogger, AND a server at a WeHo restaurant.  I know it’s not as glamorous as it sounds now that I’ve bursted the bubble of a LA-blogger, but we all have to make ends meet.  And being a server helps me do just that…make ends meet.

So, while other bloggers who have day jobs get to go home and type up a blog post or grab a drink and chat it up at some new product launch event, I get to go from my day job(s) to my night job.  This makes social media engagements and dating quite hard because I have such little time to do everything that usually requires a full-time job dedication.

Here’s how I try to time manage my life so that I can make sure I still have the time to work on Kangthropologie and keep my sanity:

HAVE YOUR “WEEKEND”

While most people would think weekends pertain to Saturdays and Sundays, my weekend starts on Sunday.  I make sure that I give myself at least two days per week to not do “work” work.  That means no consulting, no acting classes, no server shifts, nada.  (Disclaimer: obviously I make exceptions if it’s an audition or a shoot since that’s priority numero uno).  I make Sundays my date day and Mondays my photoshoot day.  Since I don’t shoot every week, the Mondays I have off are time spent watching Netflix, Kdrama and hanging out in my PJs all day.

HAVE A “LIFE”

It’s really hard to have fun and actually enjoy life when you’re too busy working all four jobs from day to night, which is why I have decided to scale back on my social media posts and engagements in order to give myself time to actually enjoy what I’m blogging about.

As I just mentioned, I recently went to Tulum and had the most incredible time!  (Blog post about my Tulum trip is coming up next).  We could have gone and just shot great content all day, but then we would have missed out on the beauty and fun there is to have there.  While I normally post once a day on Instagram, I decided that I didn’t want to be worrying about engagement and only posted every other day.  I’m not recommending this to any influencers out there who are taking this more seriously than I am; however, there’s only 24 hours in a day and I don’t have any assistance or interns for help, so something has got to give.  In this particular case, I decided to scale back on social media engagements and posts.

MAKE EVERY HOUR COUNT

For those of you out there that already have a significant other, congrats.  Kiss your man/woman and thank them for sticking by your side.  For me, it’s really hard to date when you don’t even have time to call your own mother.  REALLY hard.  But I try to make time by making every hour count.  Sundays are our days to hangout, but if I’m out of town or have previous plans then we only have the few hours during the week that we can talk on the phone or meet up for a drink.  If your love life is a priority, then make sure you make time for it.

DON’T TAKE IT TOO SERIOUSLY

I know I say this too lightly and could offend a lot of bloggers, brands, and content creators out there that do this full-time, but, don’t take social media too seriously.  It’s a great creative outlet, and people can make some serious dough doing this well.  But know that this is all digital and stored up in cyberspace.  Your life should not be fully dependent on how many likes, followers and views you get.  Yes, work hard, build relationships with brands, and create beautiful, original content, but please make sure you stop and smell the flowers while you’re doing it.  Have a drink (or two) at that social media industry event, but be sure to meet some great people and don’t make it all about posting that perfect selfie.

I’ll be MIA again for the next couple of weeks due to internet restrictions in China, but I’ll be sure to sneak onto VPN here and there and post some fabulous pics.  My next post will be talking about what to really expect when you travel to Tulum, Mexico.  Have a great Memorial Weekend everyone!

Top: ZARA / Denim: Levi’s / Sunglasses: My own (similar look) / Shoes: EMU Australia / Bag: ZARA / Watch: Daniel Wellington / Crescent Necklace: Gorjana / Necklace: Gorjana

Photographed by Mire Yang

THAT SHIRT I WORE 5 DAYS STRAIGHT

Ever wear a shirt 5 days straight?  Not intentionally, but you just love it so much that you wear it to each one of your auditions, and you happen so to get a callback for each of those auditions so you wear it again.  So, that did happen to me.

I purchased this super cute Rails Rocsi Lipstick Print Shirt from Nordstrom on a Sunday evening, and was wearing it Monday through Friday that following week.  I love Rails.  Their soft rayon button-down shirts always seem to fit perfectly on my body.  It’s slim fitting but not too tight.

There are only two brands I trust when it comes to button downs, and I rely on Rails for rayon and Equipment for silk.  Trust me on this.  They will be staples in your closet forever.  Causal and chic.

Speaking of chic, I’ve been scavenging online for Rails Chase Strawberry Buttondown in a size XS.  It’s sold out in my size everywhere I’ve looked!  I’m so sad!  Please let me know if you happen so to know where I can find that shirt.  I might just wear it for 5 days straight.  Happy Monday!

Shirt: Rails / Jeans: Vintage Levi’s / Glasses: My Own (similar look) / Shoes: Barneys New York / Bag: Louis Vuitton / Necklace: You.Nic Shop / Lipstick: Bite Beauty in Gazpacho

Photographed by Laci Havens

THE CLASSICS OF GRANA

There’s a new kid in town when it comes to quality basics and staples for your wardrobe, and that’s GRANA, a brand who’s concept was first derived in Peru and then later moved to Hong Kong.  I knew something was different and unique about GRANA as soon as I touched their fabrics.  QUALITY was the first word that popped into my head.  This isn’t your typical run-of-the-mill GAP clothing.  We are talking wardrobe essentials on a premium level.

The fit is also very flattering for a woman of my size.  I would say that they are true to US sizing.  I ordered an XS in both of my GRANA picks, and I think they fit perfectly.  My photographer even complimented me as soon as she saw me with my gorgeous silk dress.  I’ll be honest, the silk does wrinkle easily, but nothing a little steamer and wrinkle-free spray can’t fix.

Here are some of my other GRANA silk favorites:

Dress: GRANA / Shoes: Steve Madden / Bag: Coach / Sunglasses: My Own (similar look)

Overall, I am very pleased with my new GRANA denim top and silk dress.  Sure, this post might be sponsored, but my opinions are not.  Still don’t believe me?  Try it on yourself, and feel the difference in the quality.  Use the code LINDAxGRANA to receive 10% off your order (for new customers only).

PS, Kenzie even made a special appearance for this shoot.  She gets serious FOMO when I shoot in the house without her in it.  She was our lighting test model…haha!

Top: GRANA / Shorts: Urban Outfitters

Photographed by Mire Yang

WARHOL LOVE

Ever wish you were born in another era or period of time?  I always wondered what life would’ve been like if I grew up in the late 70s/early 80s.  The crazy years of pop art, shoulder pads and really big hair.  Well, not so much the hair, but I do love the drug-infused art that came out from that era.  Andy Warhol is the epitome of the 80s and the king of pop art, which is why I was extra excited when I found out that Billabong created an entire collection called Warhol Surf.

This homáge to Andy Warhol consists of retro ombré swimsuits and cool, classic muscle tees.  I’ve been on a retro fashion kick lately, so this collection is right up my alley.  If your’e looking for a touch of that 70s/80s vibe in your swimwear this summer, be sure to check out the Warhol Surf collection.  Peace, love and happiness to all!  Happy Monday! Xoxo!

Muscle Tee: Billabong / Denim Shorts: One Teaspoon / Necklace: Sierra Winter / Sunglasses: Melrose Trading Post (similar look) / Bracelets: Sugarfix by Baublebar

Swimsuit: Billabong / Sunglasses: Bonnie Clyde / Bracelets: Sugarfix by Baublebar

Photographed by Mire Yang

STAR GAZE

Happy Monday folks!  Hope everyone had a great weekend!  The weather has been phenomenal the past few days, and I’m really enjoying the perks of living in sunny LA.

One of the other perks to living in LA is the number of opportunities you get to star gaze.  No, not the ones where you look into the sky to find, because you won’t see any in central LA due to pollution.  But you know, the kind where there’s a celebrity and you eye-f*ck the hell out of them.  There’s also a third kind of star gazing that’s going amuck, and that’s in fashion.

Everywhere you turn there’s someone wearing some kind of celestial star print.  Whether it’s on a shirt, a dress, or a pair of boots, star print is THE print to wear.  I wouldn’t be a fashion blogger if I didn’t jump on this hot trend, and I found some really cool star-printed clothing that you can wear now and even into the warmer weather:

If you actually did want to see some real stars in the sky, I would recommend driving a couple of hours outside of LA to Joshua Tree, and then you’ll truly understand the term: star gaze.

Top: Topshop / Jeans: Levi’s / Bag: Vintage Chanel / Shoes: Vintage Prada / Glasses: Melrose Trading Post stand (similar look)

Photographed by Stefanie Marie

INSOMNIA

Happy Friday folks!  Please excuse all the nippage going on in my pics.  It was raining on the day of the shoot, but I had to squeeze it in regardless of the weather conditions, so it was a hard day.  Haha, sorry, had to throw that in there.

Anyhew, the point of this post is to talk about my sleep, or lack there of.  I mentioned in my previous post, (see OBSESSION), that I’ve been staying up late at night surfing the web for new furniture and home decor.  This has not ceased, and has in fact gotten worse.

I’ve subdued the urge to spend all my money on home furnishings by splurging on a GORGEOUS wool rug from West Elm.  Btw, they’re currently having a President’s Day sale, (see SALES for more details).  I’ve also stopped by Target and found lots of good faux fur furniture and accessories to help elevate the look of my studio.  Oh, and did I mention that they too are also having a sale this weekend on home furnishing?!  Here are some of the stuff I’m slobbering over:

Back to the topic at hand, insomnia.  I’m probably sleeping no more than 3-4 hours each night.  That might be typical for some of you, but I’m someone who normally sleeps 8-9 hours.  So by cutting my sleep number by more than half, I have become a caffeine addict.  This isn’t a very healthy lifestyle, even if I am still working out 4 times a week.

The real problem is that I’m currently working 4 jobs: acting, blogging, social media consulting, and restaurant hospitality.  These are daytime AND nighttime jobs, so I have very little personal time.  I would be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy this bit of chaos in my life, but I know I need to do something about the sleeping portion.  What I hope to do is to scale back on the number of days I work at the restaurant, pop some melatonin when I get home from work, and shut down the computer at midnight sharp.

I also need to scale back on the number of caffeinated drinks (i.e. tea and coffee) I have during the day, or make it only every other day that I’m allowed to have one.  I am tied to the hip to my iPhone, and that needs to be turned off as well by a certain time, #bloggerproblems.  If all else fails, I will just have to think about my skin.  Lack of sleep causes wrinkles and dark circles under the eyes.  Vanity should be able to knock some sense into me.

Do you have any remedies for treating a busy brain and/or help falling asleep?  Let me know!  I’d love to hear your advice.  Thanks for reading and have a wonderful weekend!

Bodysuit: Urban Outfitters / Shorts: One Teaspoon / Cardigan: Lovestitch / Glasses: Melrose Trading Post / Necklace: The Two Hand Exchange

Photographed by Mire Yang

BURFDAY

It’s day two of 2017, and today is my mom’s birthday.  Happy BURFDAY Mommy!!  My parents are currently residing overseas so I don’t get to celebrate her birthday with her.  She had her big one last year, (the 6-0), and so we’ll just let this baby 61st slide.

Oh, how quickly time flies by, like when I actually purchased these Reformation pants I’m seen wearing.  It’s been almost a year and I’m just now getting to wearing them and blogging about them.  Whatever.  Reformation pieces are quite classic and timeless.  They pretty much use the same patterns over and over but with different fabrics and gorgeous prints.

I just hope I stay as timeless and classic as my pants when I’m my mother’s age.  Here’s to another 364 days of fashion, beauty, travels and more adventures!  Happy New Year!

For Love and Lemons Knitz Sweater / Reformation Pant / Vintage Gucci Bag / Forever 21 Platform Ankle Boots (no longer available | similar look)

Photographed by Mire Yang

WHO KNEW

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Ok, so even I have to admit that these pics are kind of badass.  I mean, the location is just amazing.  Who freaking knew that the Venice Canals were RIGHT THERE in Los Angeles?  Oh wait, …EVERYONE knows.  Yup.  It took a good 7 years, but I finally went and checked out the canals, but only after my photographer suggested it.

It literally blew my mind when we showed up on sight and I first crossed over Dell Ave. from Court A.  The houses, the landscape and the total vibe have me swooning left and right.  There were ducks swimming by the canoes, and different beautiful bridges that connected each ends of the street.  If I could pick a place to live in LA, it would definitely be here.

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With that said, I think the location of your photoshoot makes a HUGE difference in your outfit.  It can really set the tone and bring out what’s unique about your clothes.  For this particular shoot I wanted to focus on the romanticism of the blouse I’m wearing.  This Bluelife Oh La La Top is off-the-shoulder and has these romantic details (i.e. buttons, textured fabric) that feel natural and pretty.  The water reflections and outdoor setting really set an organic feel.   kangthropologie_whoknew_outfit kangthropologie_whoknew_img_3590 kangthropologie_whoknew_img_3592 kangthropologie_whoknew_IMG_3343 kangthropologie_whoknew_img_3591 kangthropologie_whoknew_img_3345

Topshop Petite Moto Rip Mom Jeans / ASOS Velvet Pearl Choker Necklace / Free People Fever Platforms

I suggest talking to your photographer before your shoot, and send them pictures of the clothes.  If they’ve shot a bunch of other bloggers before you, then odds are they know quite a few locations to shoot at.  I wouldn’t have found this magical location if my photographer haven’t suggested it.  Trust their recommendations.  Let the pictures tell the story, so you don’t have to type as much.  Haha!

Photographed by Mire Yang