NEVER HAVE I EVER

I think it’s time that I reveal a little bit more about myself by playing a very simple game of ‘Never Have I Ever’.  Don’t worry, I won’t go blue on you.  It’s just that I’ve lived in LA long enough to where there are certain things that I think would’ve already been crossed off the list of thing-to-do-in-LA a LONG time ago.  However, yours truly here have yet to check these places and/or things off my to-do list, so, here goes…Never Have I Ever:

…been to Disneyland.  I have however been to Disney World in Orlando, so does that still count?

…been to Coachella.  I know.  I know.  What kind of freaking LA blogger am I that I haven’t been to THE music festival of SoCal?!  (a rhetorical question)  Maybe this year??

…been to The Getty Museum,

…or the The Getty Villa.  Zero excuses here since admission to both places is FREE.

…eaten a burger at In-And-Out.  I became a vegetarian 2 years before I moved out to LA.

…had a designated parking spot.  It’s been 9 years of permit and non-permit street parking for me.  I forgot what it’s like to have a parking spot and not have to worry about finding parking when I come home. #LAPriviledges. Sigh.

…partied at Playhouse.  I feel like this Hollywood nightclub has been around forever, and I have yet to step foot in there.  Maybe it’s a good thing?

There you have it folks.  I felt somewhat ashamed as I was typing some of these things, but it is what it is.  Maybe I’ll get to it soon, or maybe I’ll just sit on it for another 10 years.  Happy #MotivationalMonday!  Haha!

Top: Free People (sold out | similar look) / Bodysuit: American Apparel / Short: Understated Leather (similar look | similar look) / Bag: Vintage Chanel (similar look) / Sunnies: ZeroUV (similar look | similar look) / Necklace: Olive and Cocoa / Shoes: ZARA

Photographed by Anthony Newen

I’VE BEEN DATING IN LA FOR 10 YEARS…

I would just like to start off by first saying that I am no love guru.  I got out of a serious 2.5 year relationship at the end of 2007, then moved from Atlanta to Austin to Dallas to LA all in 2008.  I have been dating and in a number of short lived relationships ever since then.  Essentially, I don’t know shit about dating, which is why I have been dating in LA for almost 10 years.  However, through all my trials and tribulations I’ve learned a few things about dating in LA, and this is what I’ve learned through my experiences:

DTR

Define the relationship.  “The talk”.  “What are we?”  At any point in every dating cycle, you will eventually get to the place where you must define your relationship.  Are you two just dating, dating exclusively, or in a relationship.  This is the one town I’ve lived in where the gray zone is infinite.  You’re always somewhere in between seeing other people and dating exclusively.  I once dated a guy for 6 months, half of which was international long distance, flew half way around the world to see him, and found out we were in the gray zone.

Then there are times where you are already in a relationship and didn’t even know it because of his noncommittal behavior.  You don’t know where you stand in your relationship with him, so you don’t know if you’re allowed to call him out on his behavior.  This one time I found out I was in a relationship because he called me his girlfriend in a complaint email he sent to an airline acting as my lawyer AND boyfriend.  Expectations change the minute you realize you’re in a relationship.

Point is, there is no definitive time or duration in a dating cycle that is the perfect time to have “the talk”.  But most of my stress and paranoia in dating are relieved after I know where I stand in the relationship.  I feel like most women usually start the conversation after three months of seeing someone, but there could be a +/- 2 months difference for each individual.

CHOICES

One of the best things about dating in LA is that there are many choices.  If someone doesn’t work out you can quickly find a replacement, even within seconds (i.e. Tinder, Bumble).  One of the worst things about dating in LA is that there are many choices.  Too many.  There are so many men and women to pick from that no one ever sticks around to see if anything can actually happen.  It is possible to play the game and actually date someone for 3 months and it leads to nothing.

We’ll find little things we don’t like about the other person and find an excuse not to date them anymore.  I know I’m personally guilty of this.  I had dated a guy that was PERFECT on paper.  My parents would have killed for me to end up with him, but I just couldn’t get over him constantly clearing of his throat.  It was like nails on a chalkboard to me.  I felt like he had permanent loogie.  Was this indeed a deal breaker?  Probably not.  But I decided it was enough of a distraction for me to find someone better.

I think we move on too quickly rather than waiting it out to see if you find something nice about the person that takes away the distraction.  I would complain to my girlfriends about something I don’t like about the guy, and they would immediately call it a red flag and tell me to dump him.  All too quickly would I agree, and the relationship would end.  I think if I had more patience, I wouldn’t have been single for so long.  (Please don’t misread this as settling.  I don’t ever want anyone to just settle.  I’m a hopeless romantic and believe in find Prince Charming and true love.  But this isn’t the 50’s anymore, and Prince Charming doesn’t come packaged like they use to.  We have to fall in love with what we have now, and that could come with some kinks.)

CHICKEN OR THE EGG

Somewhere in the LA dating scene, someone became an asshole and someone became a bitch.  It’s like the chicken or the egg.  Did the asshole create the bitch or did the bitch create the asshole.  Not sure who started it first, but this epidemic had spread like wild fire.  Suddenly guys felt like they had to be assholes to get chicks, and women felt like they had to be bitches in order to keep their man.  The sad part is that it’s all too true.

I remember once joking with my girlfriends that we would have to drive out to the California state line and find guys to date there before they’ve been tainted by LA.  I wish I would have just been okay with just dating, but I felt obligated to play “the game”.  I had to make myself busy and unavailable, and could only answer the text or call after 3 hours or 3 days.  I would make plans with my girlfriends and get super dolled up, and send him sexy selfies while we were out partying to make it seem like I was having so much fun without him.  Then drunk dial him at 1:30am.  Why ladies?  Why do we do these silly things that are not necessary, and set ourselves up for a floozy relationship?

I’d like to think that this behavior stems from youth and immaturity, but in reality, it’s just the vibe of LA.  Everyone has Peter Pan Syndrome, and no one wants to grow up and have a mature relationship.  If we can all just learn to play nice with each other, we might not have so many bitches and assholes out there.

LONG DISTANCE

Because dating was so bad for me in LA, I tried dating long distance…three times.  Yup.  THREE times.  The first guy was someone I met briefly 9 years ago, but had a mutual friend and sort of kept in touch.  He lived in Texas at the time, but then moved to San Fran and reached out.  I knew SF was 6 hours away by car, but it was only a short 45 minute plane ride.  The back and forth trips didn’t last too long and the relationship crumbled within 6 months of being on and off again.

The second guy was someone who I met in LA, dated for 3 months then found out he was leaving the country for 6 months for work.  (Read more on GOING THE DISTANCE).  Long story short, we didn’t work out either.  You would think that I have learned my lesson after the second time, but no, third time’s a charm.

Guy number 3 was introduced to me through a mutual friend.  We hit it off immediately, but I found out once again, about 3 months in, that he was going to go on an around the world trip for 2 months. I don’t know what it is with me and guys who want to leave the country after 3 months of dating me, but it wasn’t something I wasn’t already use to, so the two of us agreed to stay in touch while he was on his excursion.  We texted just about everyday and did video calls whenever he had decent reception.  I waited for him for 2 months, and it has paid off.  We are still together, and have also agreed to not take trips longer than 2 weeks without each other.

I not saying long distance is for everyone.  It takes a lot of patience, understanding, and trust.  But if you can get over this hump, everything else is a piece of pie.  I have a friend who met someone long distance, dated him long distance, and is now married to him and they’re still long distance.  If you want to be with someone, you make it work.  No matter the odds.

☮❤︎☆

Top: Who What Wear / Shorts: My own vintage collection (similar look on sale) / Shoes: Steve Madden / Sunnies: zeroUV (sold out | similar look) / Earrings: Charming Charlie (on sale)

Photographed by Stefanie Meier

HOW I ESPRESS-O MYSELF

If you ever watch any of my InstaStories, (as you should because I’m freaking awesome), then you would know that I have a thing for coffee.  It’s part of my routine: morning workout, then an iced coffee/espresso/matcha beverage of some sort.

I recently did some math and figured out just how much I was spending on coffee on a monthly basis.  You ready? $100!  Yes, I am spending close to $100 per month on just COFFEE!  It sounds like some serious first world problems, but I have an addiction for yummy, tasty espresso drinks that are served all over Los Angeles.  With this kind of expenditure, you’d hope that I would know a thing or two about what’s good around town.  So, here are my top 5 favorite coffee shops in LA:

ONE: BLUE BOTTLE

New Orleans.  That’s the one and only drink I ever get at Blue Bottle and it’s all I ever need.  It’s just an ice coffee with organic cane sugar and milk.  That’s it.  So simple, and yet oh so good!

TWO: VERVE

Avocado Toast.  I know we’re talking about drinks, but this particular dish is a staple at every coffee shop.  I live in WeHo.  Trust me when I say that I’ve had my fair share of avocado toasts from every freaking restaurant/cafe there is.  Verve offers one of THE best avocado toasts in LA.  It’s got butter on the toast before the avocado, which are in heaping chunks.  I’m salivating as I type this.

THREE: ANDANTE

Matcha, Chai, Espresso Latte concoction.  This Andante drink has no name, but the barista, (possibly also the owner?), asked me to trust him, and he made me a phenomenal iced beverage that consisted of matcha, chai, a shot of espresso and milk.  Sorry, I’m of no help here with the name of this drink, but their Lavender Latte is really delicious as well, (get it hot).

FOUR: CARRERA CAFE

Americano.  I was very pleasantly surprised as to how good Carrera‘s coffee was.  I went there simply to take photos of their beautiful interior, and I ended up falling in love with their Americano.  The espresso beans they used are flavorful and aromatic.  I recommend their hot lattes as well.

FIVE: ALFRED TEA ROOM

Iced Matcha Tea Boba.  Need I say more?  As an asian, I can say that their boba is right on point.  It’s always warm, yummy and fresh.  Their decor is just pink-rrific, and every spot is photo worthy.  Go in for a boba drink, and be sure to take a gazillion photos, stories, and snaps.

I don’t recommend anyone spending $5-$7 each day on a caffeinated beverage.  HOWEVER, if you were planning on doing it anyway you might as well make sure it’s worth it.  I’m always down to try new places.  Any coffee shops in LA that you absolutely love?

Dress: For Love and Lemons / Shoes: Nasty Gal (sold out | similar look) / Purse: Coach / Sunglasses: Mine (similar look) / Bracelets: SUGARFIX

Photographed by Mire Yang

LOCAL

So, there are several advantages to buying local.  The avocado is fresh.  The shipping takes a day. The eco-footprint is at a minimum.  As you can see, I’m all about supporting local brands, especially here in Los Angeles.  We’re one of the major cities in America that has several chic and trendy fashion brands, and it’s all within a 25 miles radius of where I live.  One of the many perks to living in LA.

Of all the super cool boho fashion brands that I’ve come across, one that sticks out is Lovestitch.  I’ll be honest, I didn’t know much about them before, but then I started seeing more of their stuff on other LA fashion bloggers (i.e. Molly of Trendychickadee).  The best part is that their stuff is within my budget range.  Affordable, comfy and boho cute.  I do wish some of their stuff had more sizing range since I’m more on the petite end, and a lot of American smalls don’t fit me.

I’ll definitely be adding them to my list of go-to boho brands.

Cardigan: Deja Cardigan / Bodysuit: UO / Shorts: One Teaspoon / Necklace: The Two Hand Exchange / Sunglasses: My Own

Poncho: Ronda Poncho Sweater / Glasses: My Own / Bodysuit: Reformation / Denim: Levi’s / Necklace: The Two Hand Exchange

Dress: Xian Sweater Dress / Sunglasses: My Own

Photographed by Mire Yang

OWNING IT

kangthropologie_owningit_outfit3

Happy Sunday everyone!  This has got to be one of my top favorite outfits that I’ve ever worn for my blog.  It has all the elements of style that I love: a mixture of designer and contemporary, feminine edginess, AND, it’s a JUMPSUIT!  How much more #Kangthro can this be?!

I’ve mentioned several times that I can get lost at times with fashion blogging.  That I feel like I haven’t exactly found my voice, or perhaps I’m just too eclectic when it comes to fashion.  However, I’m owning it in this outfit, and I feel like this is important for any blogger that is just starting out.  There will be times when you’re swayed one way or another because of certain trends, but it’s good to always check in with yourself and come back to what feels natural.  For me, the monochrome black, the hint of sexiness, and the ease and comfiness of this Clayton MaryJane Jumpsuit feel natural.

Definitely try out new styles and trends because that’s just what you have to do to evolve in fashion.  But whatever it is that is your fashion sense, wear it.  Own it.  You’ll see the difference in your photos and in your face when an outfit feels right.
kangthropologie_owningit_img_3203 kangthropologie_owningit_img_3198 kangthropologie_owningit_img_3202

For this jumpsuit, I wanted to pair it with a pretty lace bra because I felt like wearing a tee or an off-the-shoulder top would be too obvious.  Plus, there’s been another heat wave that passed through LA, so why not expose a bit more skin.  Am I right ladies?

I searched for a while to find the perfect lace bra that would show off well, and I found this gorgeous Free People Slow Dance Underwire Bra with the prettiest racerback.  Ladies, there aren’t enough complimentary words I can say about this bra.  It’s racerback.  It’s pretty.  It’s underwire.  It comes in seven different colors.  It’s like finding the Prince Charming of intimates.
kangthropologie_owningit_outfit2 kangthropologie_owningit_img_3186 kangthropologie_owningit_img_3201 kangthropologie_owningit_img_3187

Vintage Gucci Belt (similar look) / Gentle Monster Dreamer Sunglasses / River Island Bow Choker (sold out | similar look) / Forever 21 Platform Ankle Boots (sold out | similar look)

It was my first time shooting at Venice Canals, and I’m just obsessed with this location.  I find it almost embarrassing to admit that I’ve lived in LA for almost 8 years and that was my first time ever visiting the canals and obsessing over those beautiful homes.  Are there any other locations I’m just oblivious to that I need to shoot at?  If you’re so kind as to take pity on this always-late-to-the-party soul, please do share!  Thanks!

Photographed by Mire Yang

SAMPLING

I mother f-ing love sample sales.  Excuse my language, but it’s the only adjective to describe how deep my love is for sample sales.  I find the best things on planet earth at sample and warehouse sales.  Lovers + Friends, NBD and Tularosa just had a sample sale this past weekend (9.17 – 9.19) in DTLA.  And in the midst of the madness of digging through piles and piles of delicious clothing in large cardboard boxes, I found this black and white Lovers + Friends No Secrets Crochet One-Piece.  I got it for $20.  You heard me.  I said two, zero.  (Drop the mike).  This particular swimsuit is now sold out on Revolve, but the pewter and tan is still available.  Famous fashion blogger, Chiara Ferragni, of The Blonde Salad, has this one-piece in pewter and tan.

I have been dying to find the perfect one-piece swimsuit.  What I love so much about this adult onesie is that it flatters my non-curvy, petite body frame.  I have a long torso, so I purchased the small versus x-small.  The medium size fitted fine as well, but was too baggy on my booty.  It ties at the neck and back so your girlfriends don’t come flopping out, but it still gives off that great side-boob look.

sampling_IMG_3081

It’s now fall.  I would never suggest anyone to walk out the door in a one-piece swimsuit and boots, (as seen in my photos), but I would recommend wearing this as a body suit with a pair of high-waist, skinny jeans and a blazer or light leather jacket.  If you missed out on this sample sale, have no fear.  There will most likely be another one in 5 months.  You can stay up-to-date on the latest sales by visiting the SALES page and following me on Instagram.  Enjoy the last few days of warm weather in SoCal!

sampling_IMG_3085

Stuart Weitzman pointed-toe boots (no longer available | similar looks: Stuart Weitzman HiTimes Leather Bootie or Vince Camuto Lorenza High Heel Bootie or Forever21 Faux Leather Platform Booties) / Fedora (my own and no clue where I purchased it from) / Gentle Monster Dreamer 01 Sunglasses

Photographed by Felicia Bade

Hair and Makeup by Felicia Bade